Life's Like That

You know what life's like? It's like one day you wake up thinking the day is going to go a certain way and then something kind of small but kind of big happens that blows your lid off and then you think where's the bloody rewind button when you need it - better yet...who's holding the remote control? So then you have to decide - do you try to go back to plan A? Is there any point? Or do you flip to plan B? And what's plan B? Well, plan B isn't much of a plan so you go back to plan A which is great because then you actually pick up the new reeds for your saxophone that you've been meaning to do for the past couple months. Check! But you're still thrown off by what happened in the beginning of the day and you're just not sure how to "be" for the afternoon? Do you stay grumpy because that's how you feel? Or do you act happy because that's how you want to feel? Turns out you don't really have to decide because your afternoon consists of hanging out with your cousin who is also one of your closest friends and when you're with her you can just be whatever you are in that moment. She also happens to live a 10 minute walk from your place. And then you think how great it is that you have a cousin who lives 10 minutes away from you and how even more great it is that you actually like her and she actually likes you. So your cousin and her two kids come over and while you both keep an eye on the four kids you now share for the next few hours you reveal to her the details of the morning and the past few years that just feel so good to get off your chest. And you remember why she's one of your closest friends when she doesn't try to make you feel like everything is just fine and this is just a phase and there isn't anything to complain about...she just listens and nods and shares things that make you feel more human and less like the crazy person you think you can be. And then the afternoon comes to an end, your cousin and her kids walk home and dinner needs to be put on the table shortly. You realize your spirit is a little happier by now and then as you reheat leftovers for dinner you are so thankful that you don't actually have to make dinner. And then less than 3 hours later your kids are asleep in bed and you sit down with a cup of hot water and your wool socks because you love your wool socks and you realize that it's almost 8 pm and your living room is still filled with daylight coming in from your French doors as you listen to the birds chirp in their late evening contentment. Then your daughter comes padding down the stairs because she can't sleep and you think so much for relaxing but then you remember that it's actually your husband's turn to deal with insomniac children tonight. You kiss her tangled curls and then settle deeper into the couch and into relax mode as your husband whisks her back upstairs. Then you realize you're not grumpy anymore but still not pleased with the way the day started and it's still bothering you. When you and your husband crawl into bed a couple hours later you tell him all the gory details of the morning because finally you think you can talk about it. You guys agree that this needs to be discussed again later and you promptly fall asleep.

And then it's the next day and as you make your way through the morning you realize that nothing about yesterday was really bad. It was just stuff that had to happen to make you examine your life a little closer, determine where you need to spend your energy in the next little while and remember that things don't happen in isolation...and that you are not in isolation. And really, life is just like that.