I do love being alone. Most of my preferred activities are ones I can do solo: reading, writing, and watching movies. There is something to be said about spending time alone, knowing that you are able to do whatever you want without needing to accommodate anyone else's preferences. Watching a movie on your own means not having to compromise on movie selection. Even sports - practicing yoga or swimming - are so much less stressful for me than say a team sport where I have to live up to certain expectations, play by certain rules and compete with other people. In my early college years I had this fantasy of living on my own, in a beautiful high-rise condo overlooking English Bay in Vancouver. I would come home from my high powered executive job, open the door to my haven, toss my keys on the table in the entrance way, kick off my shoes and aaaaaaahhhhh, do whatever I wanted to do for the rest of the evening! I would read or listen to music or curl up on my couch with a movie and I'd be in heaven.
But then, in my imagination, the phone would ring or I'd check my answering machine. People! And they want to do things like go out for dinner (love doing this!), go to a poetry reading (also enjoy!), or dancing (love this but haven't done this in soooo long!). While I enjoy my alone time, I also enjoy the company of others. And despite rolling my eyes at my husband's movie choices sometimes, there's no better way to end the week than tucking ourselves in under a blanket and trying to stay awake through an entire movie!
My life is quite different from what I had imagined it would be during those early college years. Save the picket fence I'm pretty much as suburban as it gets! I don't dress in business suits (thank God - why did I ever think that was appealing?) and generally don't even dress before 10:30am when I have to pick up my daughter from preschool! When I come home from anywhere, I don't get to just throw myself on the couch or sink into a bubble bath to unwind...and I probably need to do those things more in this life than I would have had to in the life of a carefree single in the city girl! So, my quiet time is short, far between and precious. But then so is the time I spend with my family (when everyone's behaving) and whatever's left over for socializing.
I don't think I could choose one over another long term. I need the alone time to recharge, feel grounded, work on my writing etc. but I also need the experiences of being outside of my head so that I have something to work with when I'm writing and so that I can feel fully alive. Yin and yang. It always comes back to that.
