My Plea To Women

This post has been 'brewing' for some time though I haven't quite figured out how to articulate my thoughts on this topic. This morning, though, I knew I had to at least try. On my way to work this morning, I found myself thinking about two conversations I had during the course of yesterday with two women in different stages of life. I thought about these conversations because they are not unlike others I have had with women, especially in the last few months; all of these conversations have added up to one message, one plea from me: Let's Be Honest, Please!!
As women, let's be honest with ourselves, our partners, our friends, our children, everybody we encounter in our lives. Let's get real! What does that mean? To me it means, let's get over the fact that we think we have to be perfect. It's killing us! And yes, I do mean that literally. But also, it's killing our joy, our relationships, our sanity. Here's an idea: how about, instead of striving to be perfect, we just do our best to be sane, happy and healthy? And not all the flippin' time, the key words are "do our best"...we're entitled to days of not wanting to be "productive", or vegging out on the couch while our toddlers play on their own for awhile. They'll survive even if they're not stimulated every minute of the day.
We're entitled to feel sad, or angry or frustrated. I read in Julia Cameron's The Aritist's Way that "anger is a map". It tells us where we've been, that we didn't like it, and where we need to go! If we're so busy plastering on those smiles, how do we know what we really want and how will we get it?
Some of the women I have talked to are really struggling with letting their guard down. In one breath they will tell me that their social lives are non-existent, they feel a nagging, unexplained sadness, they're having a hard time staying afloat...BUT they're ok, things are going well...
It's like for one second their real voices are coming out and then SLAM! They get shut down by those annoying, cheery, fake, perfect mothers/wives. Stop it! That's not how that nagging sadness, that feeling of not quite being 'yourself' is going to go away!
Maybe women have made it hard for ourselves to be real? After all, no one can judge a woman like another woman. Listen for comments that women make about the way other women do the following: raise their children (a big one!), dress, eat, work, talk, have relationships etc.
Women are powerful beings but I don't think we need to do more than we already do to prove that. After all, since the beginning of time, we have grown other human beings in our wombs and, with the help of other women, we have brought these beings into the world. We can even sustain them with our own bodies. Seriously, do we need to get more magical than that? And aside from the baby-making, which I respect is not in everyone's cards, we are born healers, we are intuitive, we are creative AND logical at the same time. Impressive!
I think it's OK to say "I am not where I want to be yet in my life and I am brilliant enough to acknowledge that and seek support." Let's just be honest about it. I'm not saying let's indulge in pity parties and woe-is-me discussions every day. But we have to let it out, get over it and then help each other do the same.
I'm seriously daring you to be honest. I double-dare you, in fact.
Good luck!
As always, I welcome comments here on my blog. I would really love to hear from other women, and the men who are puzzled by us. Two-way conversations are so much more fun, especially on such a hot topic!
Thanks for reading...