The Bottom Drawer Shopper

I'd like to say that I shop for the special people in my life with enough time to keep the experience pleasant and easy. If I know someone's birthday is coming up, or Christmas is around the corner, I may start thinking about things they might like a couple of months in advance...but then next thing I know, the big day is just a night away and I'm stuck in that oh-great-the-thing-I-wanted-to-get-her-is-no-longer-in-stock situation. I have gotten better as the years have gone by. If my daughter is going to a birthday party, I will make sure to get the gift a week in advance. And here we are on November 25 and I am heading out this afternoon to shop for Christmas presents. I will however, likely wrap them the day I am going to deliver them. I love giving gifts and feel especially happy when the gift I select is truly meaningful to the recipient...I just have shopping issues that go far beyond the scope of this post.

My mom used to buy generic gifts and keep them in the bottom drawer of her dresser. Beautiful unopened bottles of perfumes lined that drawer, along with scarves, shawls and those toiletry gift bags. You know the ones that go crazy on sale right after Christmas? Yup, she'd stock up and then if some unexpected event came along or people turned up out of the blue from out of town or she felt it was a gift-giving occasion (sometimes she just gave gifts for the sake of it!), she'd have plenty of selection right in her very own bedroom. These weren't gifts that people gave her that she was trying to recycle. She would buy them with the intention of giving them away. I used to think it was super weird and chalked it up to one of her crazy quirks but I totally see the usefulness in this...and I admire her even more for her generous heart. Underneath that seemingly odd practice, was a woman who just loved to give. She just liked to be more prepared than the average person for when the time came!

They say in time you become more like your parents - well, let's see about that. I'd have to clear out the bottom drawer of my dresser first!

I Look Forward to Getting to Know You Better

I am looking through old photographs and catch a glimpse of a vaguely familiar woman. She is in her mid-twenties with a willowy figure, curves in all the right places. Soft, dark curls frame achingly high cheekbones. In some of the pictures her brown eyes are played up by shades of blue. From one shot to the next her look changes. In front of a backdrop of flower leys, she wears a white and gold saree and leans in to the arms of her new groom. In a cottage garden, she wears a modest housecoat and a playful smile. Behind a table displaying remnants of a birthday feast, she is dressed in pink and, I laugh when I realize, she is flirting with the camera! But the one I will frame is a head shot, those pretty eyes shaded by large, round sunglasses while a floppy sunhat adds mystery and elegance. And on those full pink lips rest the unspoken words she would share with me. Words of love, warning, prayer, reprimand and humour.
I wish I knew this woman better. She seems to know something about walking barefoot in saltwater. Her pride in her appearance is apparent and well-earned. I see how delicate she is inside, though. Her eyes beseech the world, "Love me, please..." And now I know why she is only vaguely familiar. I just wish when she was trying to come out and play, that I noticed, understood and encouraged her.
I didn't know that I could do that with my mother.
Four days before she passed away, I looked into her sunken and tired eyes and said, "You are so beautiful." She smiled and said, "Thank you. So are you. We are the same." At that moment, I was no longer a child, but a woman looking at another woman, and acknowledging the femininity in both of us, for the first time.
The photographs confirm what I know to be true: Being a woman is sacred, expressing that femininity is vital and in our uniqueness we are equal.
We are the same.