My Life As A Yogi

I am so, so tempted to start a fourth blog all about yoga. But, I will refrain. For now. After a morning of coaching, writing, carpooling (i.e. listening to 2 four -year-old girls singing silly songs all the way home), and dealing with a couple minor child issues, I think I should stick to just this blog post. I do still have a speech therapy client this afternoon and then there's the whole dinner process. I digress...I committed to yoga after realizing how very little (absolutely nothing) I do for my physical body. This all came about as a result of blogging on Let ME Out!! last month. Checking in with your Self and how you spend your Time is very important!! This exercise that I did plus the excitement I feel over the next leg of my journey PLUS the complaints my body was voicing all resulted in me searching for a yoga studio close to home. As often happens, my request was met by the Universe - this time in the form of a Living Social Deals voucher for unlimited yoga classes at Vayusha Yoga 5 minutes from my home for next to nothing! How could I not? So I did.

I LOVE IT!! I've tried a couple yin classes and a flow class - two very different practices that encompass different parts of me. The yin is all about stretching those achy, wound-up connective tissues which my body thanks me profusely for. We hold the postures for several minutes at a time so I have plenty of time to listen to the messages my body is sending me. When the instructor told me how long we would hold the postures for I was like, "OK, I hope I don't get bored!" Seriously, in this day and age of on-line and real-time, I didn't know if I could "do nothing" for several minutes. But the thing is, I wasn't doing nothing. All the pent-up messages I had for my body and it had for me started spilling forward. I realize this sounds super hokey and is teetering dangerously on "crazy". It is what it is. And whatever it is, it feels damn good.

The flow was amazing and supported the strong warrior I mentally envision myself to be but don't normally get to let out and play. It was challenging but here's the thing I've learned from my short life thus far as a yogi: I am perfect in my practice in the moment. I don't need to get upset with myself for not being able to hold the downward dog for so long, or do them so many times in one hour! Once that pose doesn't feel relaxing or comfortable for me, I can slip into child's pose, show my body some love and respect and be perfect in my practice. This is a HUGE mental and emotional breakthrough for me. I'm so geared to doing things "perfectly" or not doing them at all - and usually the "perfectly" part is by someone else's standards. So, getting down into child's pose and not caring that everyone else was still doing the downward dog is actually a really big deal for me.

The other wonderful breakthrough I had was I let someone else support me in my yoga practice. At the end of each class, we are asked to lie on our backs in a completely relaxed state and just be. At the end of one evening class, the instructor offered a blanket to anyone who needed it; we just had to put a hand on our belly and she would come around and "tuck us in." My first reaction to that was, "I don't need to bother her for a blanket. It's not that chilly. I'm fine." But then I thought, you know, it's been a long time since someone tucked me in. Slowly, I placed my right hand on my belly and kept breathing, noticing that my breath quickened just a little. And then the excuses started. I started to make excuses for the teacher NOT getting me a blanket almost immediately. "It's OK if she doesn't get me a blanket, maybe she can't see my hand in the dim light." I realized how I have done this so often, whenever someone has disappointed me, just made excuses for them so as not to rock the boat. I do this a lot. But she came through, tucked me in with a soft cloud of a blanket and yeah, I'll admit, a tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I also do that a lot.I am thankful for this new path I am embarking on. It came at the perfect time, as always.Thanks for reading...

What Comes Next?

I have REALLY enjoyed my summer. It has been the first summer in years that I have felt so productive and yet satisfied with the fun factor in my life. It's also the first time in my mommy-hood that I feel a little more independent. It's easy for me to leave the kids in the evening with my husband and go to yoga, or out with a friend. My husband and I have even enjoyed several child-free outings this summer thanks to family members and a trusty babysitter. We still prefer being the ones to tuck our kids in at night, and he and I try not to plan too many evenings apart from each other; I think that is a good thing.

This summer also saw the birth of my latest blog Let ME Out!! Remembering and Releasing Your Creative Self. This blog is a labour of love and comes from a place of creativity and passion. Behind the scenes, this blog keeps me busy and excited; I am researching topics such as self-publishing and e-books. It's taking me to a whole new world. My brain cells are being stretched in every direction, that's for sure! I am also developing ideas for sharing my work in more connected spaces such as workshops and speaking venues.

Through my blogging and journalling these past couple months, I have realized that there are other areas of my life which need some attention. Specifically, I need to get this body of mine ready for a busy, productive, creative and fulfilling journey ahead. I bought a membership to a nearby yoga studio and have made space in my calendar for some yin, flow and hatha! I've also carved out time for cardio and weight training which is something I used to enjoy - a healthy "high" for me that I am so eager to let back in my life!

I am also making physical changes to my space - my studio! This studio has been 15 years in the making. Ever since I was in high school I dreamt of a space in my own home that would exist solely for the purpose of my creative pleasures. And here I am, plunking away at these keys in the perfect space. Well, it's almost perfect. Starting next week there will be a new coat of paint on these walls, updated furniture, organized storage, blingy decor and a cozy reading nook. I have had fun spending time with a friend who has an incredible amount of creativity in this area - and who is starting her own design business based on our chats over the past several months! We have shopped for fabric and had many texting frenzies over lamps, stools, rugs and colours. I am so thankful to the Universe who keeps throwing these wonderful people my way!

If this is the Summer of the Butterfly, then what will the fall be? This question has been tickling my brain for the past week or so. I have mini-moments of that yucky feeling of something great coming to a close but then consciously remind myself that the changes I am making now are just the beginning. I still have quite a journey ahead. I am going to continue enjoying my career transition - the challenges and the triumphs. The fall always signifies getting back into routine which really is not a bad thing when I'm scheduling in exercise and plans with loved ones.

I still don't know what to call this next phase. I actually feel like it's going to be an extension of the butterfly phase. The fall of the butterfly? Ouch. That sounds painful. Too much like a demise! Plus, I think my whole life is going to resemble the existence of this winged creature. I'll come up with something. Or not. Either way - I'm ready...to fly! (So cool - I had written the words "I'm ready" and before I could punctuate it, my cousin responded to my text asking "What happens after the summer of the butterfly?" Her brilliant answer: You fly!)