New Rules

OK, so here's the deal. I didn't officially register for National Blog Posting Month, aka NaBloPoMo, only because I missed the deadline to do so! However, I said I would write to each prompt and just sort of "catch up." Yeah, that's not happening. First of all, I'm getting confused. And I'm thinking, there are so many things I have to keep track of, why am I adding something to my list? At the rate I'm going, I'd have to crank out 2 or more blog posts a day to catch up and I don't want to just be spewing out crap for the sake of saying "I did it." So, I'm making up some new rules here, seeing as this is pretty much my own game anyway.

From today, I will blog to the prompt assigned for each corresponding day (no more confusion!) and if I have some spare time I will go back and blog to the ones I missed. Maybe even after the month is over. Sounds good to me. And look what I figured out how to do...I don't need to re-type each prompt!



Yes, I have faced fears before; in fact, I feel like I do that on a regular basis. I fear looking like an idiot, yet I push past that pretty much every time I post a blog, both here and on Let ME Out! But probably my biggest fear is that I am going to get to the end of my life and wish I had done things differently. That would suck. There are a few things in my past that I sometimes look back on and think, I wonder what would have happened if I had done X instead of Y. But overall, I'm happy with where I am in my life at this point and know that all the events of my life including the outcomes of my decisions, have led me here. That's kind of oversimplifying things, but the prompt isn't asking me to divulge my regrets and how I've come to terms with some of them to the extent that I have. Lucky for you!

Still - there is room for error. I can't say I've overcome this fear of screwing things up/missing an opportunity/growing into a big ball of regret, but I am learning to accept the imperfection that is being human. And hopefully, when I'm letting go of this life in a warm bed at some point in my 90s, looking forward to going Home and having a good rest, there won't be anything major holding me back. Hopefully by that time, all that I would have needed to make peace with will be dealt with.

Facing fears is an active process and for me a daily process but it can be the fuel for a happier, fuller existence, especially if your biggest fear is settling for less.

The Balancing Act

NaBloPoMo's Prompt for Monday November 7: Making family time is important to me. How do you balance your children, relationship and work life? (guest post by Ricki Lake)

This is the question of my life. It's especially difficult, I think, when my work is something I absolutely love and want to do all the time. Being a writer and a creative life coach, my work is about passion: spending time with my own creative Self, helping others remember and release theirs, and connecting with people who are passionate about passions too. It's hard not to want to be immersed in that all the time. But spending time with my children and husband is more than just about squelching the guilt of neglecting them while I happily buzz about my business. My children and my husband give me a lot to write about! They inspire me to work hard and take care of myself so that I am a healthy role model for my children. Working on my patience is a separate post entirely.

I enjoy my husband's company; we started off our marriage as dreamers and we continue to do this together and support each other in seeing these dreams come true. Maintaining the balance is important. That being established, how does it happen in my house?

Well, the self care has become surprisingly easier these past few months. I committed to yoga classes at a local studio and, because I bought the monthly pass which is only worth it if I take at least two classes a week...I end up at the studio twice a week! My husband and I compare schedules every Sunday night (he sometimes has to see clients in the evenings during the week) and I select my yoga classes based on the nights he's home. It took some getting used to for me to leave him to put two sometimes cranky children to bed alone, but once I mentally got over that it became pretty easy - sometimes all you can see is a cloud of dust from where I take off running out the door! Taking care of myself and doing the things I enjoy doing on my own also got a lot easier after my husband started doing the same. Neither one of us feels like we're getting the shorter end of the stick because, for the most part, we each get a similar amount of time for our own enjoyment.

Since this past summer especially, we have taken people up on their offer to babysit and have spent more time alone together than we have in awhile. We also reserve at least one week night per week, if not more, to hang out after the kids go to bed.

My work time is a lot more limited than I'd like but this is because I have chosen not to put my son in daycare and my daughter is in preschool only in the mornings. Sometimes I am not sure why I decided this! But most of the time I know it's because they'll "only be this young once" and that one day they will both be in school full time (September 2015 to be exact). So I take advantage of the fact that my son sleeps in and I work from the time my daughter gets picked up for school (8:30am) till I have to wake my son to get ready for our end of the carpooling bargain, about 10:30am. I take 15 minutes of that time to shower and dress. I'd rather take a quick shower and work longer. Hey, at least I'm getting my showers in! I also have about 7 hours per week of babysitter and grandparent time (total). Needless to say, I have to take a little bit of time on weekday evenings and weekends to do a few things that don't end up getting done during the week. Especially because my work time includes: writing and all that goes with the business, being a speech therapist, and a lot of the house-hold related business. Except for the finances...thankfully I married a financial planner who actually is quite passionate about his work!

So would I say my life is properly balanced? In the overall picture, yes. Is there anything I wish I could do more of and anything I wish I could do less of? Yes - my problem is not finding ways to add family time to the week; it's finding ways to add work time. But then, I think that's kind of a good problem to have.