Oh, this is tough. This is really tough. On the one hand I want to say you never really leave your childhood. It lives somewhere in your inner organs, following you through your life for better or for worse. But I know that there is that transition too when you are more adult than child. I don't think it relates to any physiological change or age; it's probably related to events in your life. Things that happen that wake you up to responsibility, hard work,and consequences.

I lived with my parents until I was 23, then lived away for about 8 months, then moved back in for another year before I got married at the age of 25. 25! That sounds so ridiculously young to get married in this day and age and yet so old to say that that's when I became an adult. I think that's when it happened. When I was no longer physically in the care of my parents. When I lived with them, I didn't really have much responsibility. My job was to go to school and make a life for myself. Anything else would get in the way of that so my parents took care of everything for me. I married a man who had to become an adult much sooner than that, who had been providing for his family and taking care of the house since he was in his teens. Comparing transitions to adulthood with him is eye-opening for the both of us.

My transition to adulthood has been a dragged-out process. Even after we got married, my job was still to go to school - I started my masters degree just over two weeks after we got married! So for the first two years of our marriage, I was in school 12 hours a day and studying on weekends; so again, my meals were taken care of for me and I was given my space and whatever I needed to get my job done. At the age of 27 I got my first full time job, 10 years after my husband started working full time!

At 29, when our daughter was born, that transition to adulthood jumped up about 10 notches! Not only was I now responsible for myself in more ways than before, I was also responsible for the life of another human being! And now, being the one at home all of the time, it only made sense for me to take on more of the household tasks. I wanted to go back to work desperately!

And now at 33, I have two children, 2 careers, and I'm still at home most of the time...I have never done so much laundry in my life! My husband has always done more than his share around the house because it's practically built in to him to do so; and it's built in to me to have someone pick up my slack. At the end of the summer it all came to a head when he pointed out how much more often I choose to let the household "go" for a sweeter deal like reading my novel. You know, pleasurable activities! It was easy for me to do that because I knew that the work would get done by someone who prides himself on doing a good job. It sounded win-win to me but not to him.

So, now, I've transitioned further into adulthood by stepping outside of my old way of thinking and doing things a little differently around here. This past week, actually, I realized how much pride I do take in doing things around the house - and in doing them well. It actually allows me to enjoy the real pleasurable activities more because I feel so much more balanced. That's pretty adult, right? To look at the big picture like that? I think so.

I can easily become a child - or I should say my inner child easily comes out - when I haven't created something in awhile or when I'm feeling under the weather. But I don't throw tantrums, I just deal and use my adult brain cells to solve the problem or to ask for help when I need to lay on the couch for a bit.

I hope I don't have to transition any further. I kind of like it here.